A Slow Burn

2019 has begun with a fizzle rather than a bang. Christmas is always busy and since then gem hasn’t been feeling herself. I spoke before about needing to push her, but if she isn’t feeling very well rather than not in the mood it puts me in a difficult position. On top of that we’ve been sorting out our child’s first birthday stuff. Ultimately we aren’t in the flow we normally are, but that’s how things go sometimes.

What we need is something to put us back in our positions as Dom and sub. What is tricky is knowing how to achieve that. We have our rituals, gem will still kneel in the evening before I come down and at the foot of the bed before I allow her in and put the chain and cuff around her ankle. Our dynamic has felt more nurturing with most of our time spent cuddling and talking. At some point I will have to take back more of the control that I have allowed to slip in this time. Without realising some of the ways we interact, how we address and act towards each other, have become easy and lazy.

The first step is that we have acknowledged that something needs to be done. What we really need is a scene that puts gem into a subspace that she has been longing for. The lack of really active play is noticable.

There has been some play. Adapting to her needs means that we have done other types of play. One night we did some wax play, mainly because gem wanted to just sit down. It went much better than expected. It just shows that once you get the ball rolling everything can snap back into place.

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Generally speaking we have a routine. For me, I need this routine to keep me on the right path. Without a deadline I can put off my ideas, over-thinking them so much that I don’t like it anymore. By having certain times for types of play I am more focused. For example roleplays are done on a Friday. It used to be every week, but that was too much. Maybe once a month now, so long as I push myself to think of a scene and just do it.

So I am determined to get over this by getting back on track with the routine. Tomorrow night is impact play night, I’m hoping that will provide us with the play we need to kick start our dynamic back to where it should be.

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10 thoughts on “A Slow Burn

  1. Yeah, no one is perfect including y’all. But you’re the one who defines what D/s means to you and that’s all that matters. You also have more to think about than yourselves – kids are obviously going to be the priority, especially when they are so young. That will change as time goes on just like your dynamic will change, just like ours will too! C’est la vie?

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  2. We accepted a long time ago that this thing will and does undulate. It took off a lot of pressure from us both of those pesky musts and shoulds and keeping up. It’s harder with young children. Ours were nearly two and four when we began and it’s not even necessarily easier nearly 5 years later. But it’s important to consider circumstance and all that involves and do what works for you both, it’s ok to rest awhile x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, we find it does work most of the time. It’s those times when you really have a need that only play will bring. We had a nice chat tonight about what’s going on and it was positive so hopefully we’ll be back on the horse soon ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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