Anal sex for us has changed massively since starting D/s but we aren’t entirely sure why. Most people would just be happy with the change, but I have a very curious mind.
I should explain, PS and I have been together for 10 years plus some. We first engaged in anal sex pretty much at the beginning of our relationship, all be it a vanilla relationship we always have been somewhat kinky. I remember we made a list of all the things we wanted to try and anal was pretty much at the top. I’m quite certain role play was on that list aswell but it took us until our D/s relationship to try that. I say I’m quite certain as that list got lost not long after it was written, we lived at home with respective parents at the time and I think PS left it lying around his room… It then disappeared.
I digress slightly, our encounters with Anal sex were mostly positive before D/s. We certainly enjoyed it on a fairly regular basis, when I was pregnant with my first baby I think we spent most of my third trimester just having Anal (I have an even higher sex drive at that point in pregnancy) so much so, I spent hours feeling guilty Googling the topic to make sure it wouldn’t hurt the baby.
It did come with problems though, sometimes afterwards I would notice a little blood where I had torn slightly. Ouch, but it didn’t stop us, we just had to work up to it more with smaller objects first. Also, PS could never get himself fully inside, usually I would orgasm before he could. Which leads to the third change, once I had cum that was it, the transaction had to end so to speak. The pain pleasure balanced seemed to tip at that point and I couldn’t carry on.
Since starting D/s it has all changed, not quite sure why. It was pretty much simultaneously after starting aswell. The first time we engaged in anal fun in our D/s dynamic we were both shocked that PS was fully immersed (I think the words he used was “slipped right in”) and in control. He could literally pound away with no problem, also no tearing after. Yay! We can also enjoy ourselves for much longer, with the use of a wand I can orgasm multiples of times whilst PS continues to thrust away. Double Yay!
Now I’m not saying what we did previously wasn’t enjoyable, it really was intense and satisfying. It’s just interesting how the same act can change when our mindsets are different. I think the main reason might be that I am more relaxed and accepting of PS being in control. Not just accepting but relish and enjoy it. Another reason could be that I used to feel if we were doing anal sex ‘too much’, I would think that PS didn’t like my vagina. Sounds ridiculous and I feel silly that I used to think, like it was going to feel left out or something. Whatever the reason, we are very much embracing the change.